We set the frames for every person in our mind, in our eyes, in our demeanour, in our expectations. This is how you will be, we say firmly.We can expect nothing better from you. We do that with or children, our wards, our students and our trainees, our subordinates, our spouses - in fact with almost anyone close to us.
You are like that only!
Having fixed them in rock hard frames, we expect them to behave otherwise. To constantly surprise us. How will that ever happen? Especially when we are not willing to see what they do outside our frame.
The paradox then - to see the best of everyone, do not frame. Do not set hard and fixed boundaries.
Even if you do (most of us tend to) - have the flexibility to look outside your narrow frame. Perhaps, you could tell yourself, this chap has something else I cannot see.
When you are prepared to be surprised, they will surprise you.
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| The Limiting Frame |
Having fixed them in rock hard frames, we expect them to behave otherwise. To constantly surprise us. How will that ever happen? Especially when we are not willing to see what they do outside our frame.
The paradox then - to see the best of everyone, do not frame. Do not set hard and fixed boundaries.
Even if you do (most of us tend to) - have the flexibility to look outside your narrow frame. Perhaps, you could tell yourself, this chap has something else I cannot see.
When you are prepared to be surprised, they will surprise you.
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